What a Love I Found: A Journey with Jesus

What a love I’ve found.

It has been so beautiful falling in love with Jesus.

Even when I was not ready to accept love He was there. Waiting, patient- constant.

The love of my life was waiting for me, and I didn’t even know it.

I think of my husband Brian – he loves me just like Jesus does.
Waiting. Patient. Constant.

I have been a mess in my life. An emotional roller coaster as I get to know myself.

Oh, Growing up has never been easy. It takes forever and it happens so fast. It is so wild how one day you wake up, and you are infatuated with someone who loves you. And you can’t even really describe how it happened.

I heard this lyric once—love is losing yourself and finding the truth—and YES. That. Exactly that. You don’t ease into love like this. It grabs you. It strips you. It ruins you for anything less. Words fail when you try to describe what real love looks like. You look back and realize you’ve been part of a beautiful love story the whole time—without even knowing it.

And that’s just like Jesus because He knew I would never volunteer for a love story. Yet He stood and waited for me to see Him with His arms wrapped around me. He would wait forever and He would do it all over again.

And when I finally saw Him I was like—
Oh my God. You’ve been here the whole time.

To be loved is to be fully known. There is no better feeling on the planet.

Do you know what it’s like to be fully known and still wanted?
Because that changes you.

He sees me. He actually sees me. He knows what I need before I can even say it. He gets me. And I swear something in me softened the moment I realized I wasn’t too much for Him. I used to be angry—now I have peace. I used to feel stuck—now I have hope. He sees me – He knows just what I need to hear – He gets me. What a gift. What a love. What a change that has taken place in me ever since I’ve realized that I’m loved.

I used to see the thorns and now I can see the roses. What a peace – what a love I have found. And every time I think, okay THIS is the moment I finally mess it up, He’s like—nope. You’re still in My hands. You always were. Nothing can pull you out. Not your fear. Not your attitude. Not your worst day. Wow what a love story. This is a love story. A wild one.

This should be a movie.

A theatrical film where a little girl discovers the love of her life has always been there, but she couldn’t see him. The only story where the hero dies for the villain – that’s a song lyric that came to mind. He’s always reminding me of my favorite songs. Always showing me the details of His love.

Always holding me when I’m trying to run. Yea… He holds me when I try to run. He doesn’t shame me for bolting—He just catches me.

I’ve given Him my heart you know.. it took a really long time to do. It was hard you know.. this world had beat me up.. but Jesus – oh He’s so beautiful.

He chased all my fears away. He cleaned me up.. like a washed dish – ready for use again… He changed me.. oh if I could ever explain this right.. He came into my darkness and sat next to me – He showed me the light ahead and said I’m here until the end. You’ll never be alone. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. He never left me. He’s there when I suck. He’s there when I don’t listen – Even when I’m stubborn and complicated and exhausting.

He smiles at me and says, “Megan I love you.”

I really should say …. what a love found me.

“We love because He first loved us.” — 1 John 4:19