Today I Choose Faith

How easy is it to think that I am walking in faith when REALLY, I am walking in defeat?

Often times I will feel so overwhelmed when going through things.. but I must remember that I am God’s daughter. That gives me authority. God is more than able to do anything. It’s so easy for me to forget this fact when all hell is breaking loose in my life. This should be a reminder that I am on the right track.. but often I start off feeling so defeated.

God knew this.. He knew that I would want to give up, back down, give in. But still, He reminds me who He is. It’s not about me. Not about my knowledge but more about my relationship with the God of angel armies. Do I trust Him? Do I trust in His word? It’s about time that I stop giving Satan a platform in my life. A space in my head and a space at my dinner table. He doesn’t belong here, and He has to go!

I’m so sick of His crap. Honestly. He is constantly keeping Christians in a space of being beaten down by His lies. You know He speaks nothing but garbage, right? Every negative thing you think in your head is just Satan’s garbage on your doorstep.

Anything that is taking place in my life that is contrary to the Word of God – you know – the way He says my life is supposed to be… I need to recognize and cast that out. WHYYYY would I just take that in and feel defeated?

Why would I wonder what I’m doing wrong that caused this? WHY would I go and get mad at other people… my war is NOT against flesh and blood. Funny though satan wants to convince me that it is. But no – I serve a mighty king who has the VICTORY and I must remember that I have an enemy that wants me to believe that I am under his foot when it’s the other way around.

I was listening to a sermon by Priscilla Shirer, and this is not the first time I heard this message, but it was just as impactful. She said even if you don’t believe who God says that you are – the enemy does. What a shame it would be for the enemy to know who you are and you not to.

THAT’S A PUNCH TO THE GUT – AIN’T IT?

Every single one of us has an assignment. She goes on to say I implore you to walk in a way that is worthy of the call because we do not know the day when we will have to give an account. Jesus called and it supersedes our personal ambition. Then, HE equips.

I need supernatural capacity to accomplish a supernatural task. Did you know that the name of Jesus, the Blood of Jesus and the Call of God can accomplish EVERYTHING? God is not some dictator in the heavens looking down on humanity with a whip in his hand demanding us to do things we are not created to do. No, our God is an omnipresent and omnipotent force that stretches our understanding and enlarges our capacity. He is for us, and no one can be against us. He is our loving father and never takes a day off. His legions of angels are in the heavens waiting on our faith to jump into action on the father’s behalf bringing about the miraculous in our lives.

We settle. We get so numb to the stench of satan’s garbage that we are nose blind to the lies and deceit. We allow his cronies to convince us that this is as good as it gets – that our God is not sufficient – that He does not hear us – will not answer – will not help – and we are filled with doubt.

Do you remember the part in the bible where Jesus said to the woman with the issue of blood – go your faith has healed you. HOW DOES THAT WORK. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?

I actually am in awe of the entire chapter ya’ll so let’s break it down.

MARK CHAPTER 5 IS SO BEAUTIFUL..

1 They came to the other side of the sea, to the region of the Gerasenes. 2 When Jesus got out of the boat, immediately a man from the tombs with an unclean spirit met Him, 3 and the man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him anymore, not even with chains. 4 For he had often been bound with shackles [for the feet] and with chains, and he tore apart the chains and broke the shackles into pieces, and no one was strong enough to subdue and tame him. 5 Night and day he was constantly screaming and shrieking among the tombs and on the mountains, and cutting himself with [sharp] stones.

Mark 5:1-5

This must have been the craziest sight to see. Can you imagine how this man must have felt knowing that he was an eyesore to society? Feeling so dejected – an outcast – a freak. Completely unruly – completely secluded from all reason. Living among the dead things. Defiled and rejected. Yet we find our Savior out in the tombs searching for this lost sheep. The one despised and rejected. Jesus tells us to go and do likewise. As children of God, we have a call on our life to go out into the tombs where Satan has our siblings trapped and rescue them from among the dead because they do not belong there.

6 Seeing Jesus from a distance, he ran up and bowed down before Him [in homage]; 7 and screaming with a loud voice, he said, “What business do we have in common with each other, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore you by God [swear to me], do not torment me!”

Mark 5:6-7

Even in this man’s torment he ran to Christ in Worship. The demons knew who Jesus was – they had no choice but to bow in reverence of His authority. Oh, how beautiful a picture of this crowd of demons forced to bow before My King.

8 For Jesus had been saying to him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” 9 He was asking him, “What is your name?” And he replied, “My name is Legion; for we are many.” 10 And he began begging Him repeatedly not to send them out of the region. 11 Now there was a large herd of pigs grazing there on the mountain. 12 And the demons begged Him, saying, “Send us to the pigs so that we may go into them!” 13 Jesus gave them permission. And the unclean spirits came out [of the man] and entered the pigs. The herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea; and they were drowned [one after the other] in the sea.

Mark 5:8-13

The demons weren’t able to do a thing without Jesus giving permission for it to take place. See how the darkness begged Jesus – crawling on their bellies like the snakes they are – demons have no place in the Kingdom of God and no place in the life of God’s Children. They are SUBJECT unto the authority of the Kingdom, and they automatically bow at the presence of the King. Sometimes I wonder, why don’t I?

14 The herdsmen [tending the pigs] ran away and reported it in the city and in the country. And the people came to see what had happened. 15 They came to Jesus and saw the man who had been demon-possessed sitting down, clothed and in his right mind, the man who had [previously] had the “legion” [of demons]; and they were frightened. 16 Those who had seen it described [in detail] to the people what had happened to the demon-possessed man, and [told them all] about the pigs. 17 So the people began to beg with Jesus to leave their region. 18 As He was stepping into the boat, the [Gentile] man who had been demon-possessed was begging with Him [asking] that he might go with Him [as a disciple]. 19 Jesus did not let him [come], but [instead] He said to him, “Go home to your family and tell them all the great things that the Lord has done for you, and how He has had mercy on you.” 20 So he [obeyed and] went away and began to publicly proclaim in Decapolis [the region of the ten Hellenistic cities] all the great things that Jesus had done for him; and all the people were astonished.

Mark 5:14-20

The people were stubborn and allowed fear to grip them which led to Jesus leaving that area instead of staying to perform the miraculous. God is a gentleman so He did not invade their will. It was their choice to give fear the victory when Jesus had just proven that He is a deliverer – they chose what was comfortable instead – familiar. They settled. And yet – our Savior still had mercy on them in that He asked the man to stay and testify about his healing in order that some may hear the Good News and be saved.

21 When Jesus had again crossed over in the boat to the other side [of the sea], a large crowd gathered around Him; and so He stayed by the seashore. 22 One of the synagogue officials named Jairus came up; and seeing Him, fell at His feet 23 and begged anxiously with Him, saying, “My little daughter is at the point of death; [please] come and lay Your hands on her, so that she will be healed and live.” 24 And Jesus went with him; and a large crowd followed Him and pressed in around Him [from all sides].

Mark 5:21-24

How easy it is for us in a desperate state to run to Jesus for healing. Because in our spirits we know that Jesus is the way to life. Yet- our earthly senses constantly get in the way. Fear grips us as we desperately seek an answer. However, God is so merciful that even in this state – fear gripped, He shows His majesty and His power over death. Also note how responsive our God is!

25 A woman [in the crowd] had [suffered from] a hemorrhage for twelve years, 26 and had endured much [suffering] at the hands of many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was not helped at all, but instead had become worse.

Mark 5:25-26

Here is this woman who has been rejected by society for being unclean. I’m not sure if any of you have watched The Chosen, but I love the way this woman is portrayed in that show. She tries to hide the fact that she is unclean so she can have a job and is able to provide for herself. She has no husband. She is despised by everyone around her. She is hurt and bitter. She puts up a front of hardness just as we do when we are harmed by a society that rejects us. We watch day and night as people prosper, and we lament. Isn’t it only natural that we would begin to resent such a society? That we would build up walls around our hearts as a defense against harm?

27 She had heard [reports] about Jesus, and she came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His outer robe. 28 For she thought, “If I just touch His clothing, I will get well.”

Mark 5:27-28

This scene is a most beautiful sight. This woman was not going to allow anything to stop her from getting to Jesus. She was determined to be healed. She had no other options – she had tried the world’s way and it had nothing to offer her. How did she have such faith? Was it out of desperation? Maybe – but even so – it was still faith.

29 Immediately her flow of blood was dried up; and she felt in her body [and knew without any doubt] that she was healed of her suffering.

Mark 5:29

This woman instantly knew that she was healed. What did that look like? What did that feel like? I can only imagine that it felt like the weight of rejection lifted from her shoulders. It must have felt like freedom. It must have been liberating and pure. It must have felt like relief. An answer, a cure. I can only imagine that the sliver that was agitating her soul for 12 years was finally yanked out and she could finally breath. This aching pain of being alone, rejected, confused, unclean was finally resolved and she was free. She knew instantly that what was holding her back from true life was removed and she could truly live now.

30 Immediately Jesus, recognizing in Himself that power had gone out from Him, turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched My clothes?” 31 His disciples said to Him, “You see the crowd pressing in around You [from all sides], and You ask, ‘Who touched Me?’ ” 32 Still He kept looking around to see the woman who had done it.

Mark 5:30-32

Oh how I love the disciples.. they are blindly following Jesus just trying to figure out what the heck was going on. This man who was clearly the Messiah was nothing like what they expected or heard about – the Savior they had been learning of for their entire lives, from little children is now here. The Messiah personally chose them to follow Him and experience all the miracles they heard would take place for generations! And here He is asking them who touched Him in a crowd of people pressing in from all sides. I bet they were like JESUS! YOU MAKE NO SENSE! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU ASKING US?! I can’t help but laugh because I know exactly what that feels like. When God is calling me to do something or asking me to consider something and I’m like … maybe that was the devil speaking… hahaha! How can we intelligently follow a miraculous God without sometimes looking like such a fool? It takes humility to follow Jesus because in reality, all of us – the chosen ones… we have absolutely no clue what we are doing. All we know, is that Jesus knows EXACTLY what He is doing, and He only asks us to trust Him.

33 And the woman, though she was afraid and trembling, aware of what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. 34 Then He said to her, “Daughter, your faith [your personal trust and confidence in Me] has restored you to health; go in peace and be [permanently] healed from your suffering.”

Mark 5:33-34

So many nuggets here… why was this woman afraid and trembling? She felt so unworthy! This is such a wrench to my heart. This is why Jesus had compassion on the people. They were so lost. We are king’s kids who have been dethroned and we are a mess without God – and often, we don’t even realize that. She came and fell before Him in reverence. She boldly claimed her healing before Him. Threw off the yoke of rejection and ran to claim her healing. She had confidence in Jesus and He rewarded her for that.

THAT IS SO CONVICTING! Do I have confidence in Jesus? Do I trust Him with everything?! Or am I acting like the disciples who are still trying to figure out what is going on. Trying to figure out who is the greatest and doing nothing but judging one another. OUCH! Why is it so easy for this woman to come to Jesus with a pure heart and seek healing? Do I need to be in a space of desperation in order to have faith? This is such a conviction for me!!!!!

Think about it.. the disciples doubting the most simple things. They had all the faith in the world when it came to Jesus healing the blind – but doubted that He could figure out who touched Him in a crowd. They witnessed him feed 5000 people but doubted He could feed just them. WHY!! Do we believe for lost souls to come to Jesus but doubt that He can bring healing to Church Leaders? Notice that the leaders of the church during Jesus’ time were the biggest pains in the butt. Dare I say that the next closest source of grief was Jesus’ chosen leadership. Constantly they were not seeing the big picture of what Jesus was trying to do. Constantly they were back biting and complaining and comparing. Lord help me!

35 While He was still speaking, some people came from the synagogue official’s house, saying [to Jairus], “Your daughter has died; why bother the Teacher any longer?” 36 Overhearing what was being said, Jesus said to the synagogue official, “Do not be afraid; only keep on believing [in Me and my power].” 37 And He allowed no one to go with Him [as witnesses], except Peter and James and John the brother of James. 38 They came to the house of the synagogue official; and He looked [with understanding] at the uproar and commotion, and people loudly weeping and wailing [in mourning]. 39 When He had gone in, He said to them, “Why make a commotion and weep? The child has not died, but is sleeping.” 40 They began laughing [scornfully] at Him [because they knew the child was dead]. But He made them all go outside, and took along the child’s father and mother and His own [three] companions, and entered the room where the child was. 41 Taking the child’s hand, He said [tenderly] to her, “Talitha kum!”—which translated [from Aramaic] means, “Little girl, I say to you, get up!” 42 The little girl immediately got up and began to walk, for she was twelve years old. And immediately they [who witnessed the child’s resurrection] were overcome with great wonder and utter amazement. 43 He gave strict orders that no one should know about this, and He told them to give her something to eat.

Mark 5:35-43

This scene is amazing as well. Guys, for real I geek out at these stories. I’m in awe of Jesus. I’m in awe of the wisdom of God. How intricately He knows us and how merciful and gracious He is towards us. Again, in the show The Chosen, I love how this scene is portrayed. Jesus goes up to the people who are mourning and wailing and He’s like – um, what in the world are you doing? They look at Him so indignantly too! Lord, I would have instantly felt so stupid… like isn’t this what we are supposed to do? Then they scoff, acting as if He is the dumb one for thinking this little child was just sleeping. Well – who showed who! Ha! I love how Jesus forced all unbelief out of the room to make space for faith. This little girl had no issue getting right up out of bed. I’m telling you; kids will put you to shame with their faith! Notice how Jesus tells us to have faith like children. There’s a reason for that – we get a little bit of knowledge and experience and BOOM – we think we know everything and now, we have no faith. What the butt is that?! I’ll tell you what that is. That’s the curse of the fruit from the garden. That’s satan getting into our heads and holding us captive in the bondage of pride and unbelief. Even satan has faith in what God can do! Why do you think he’s constantly trying to stop it?! Hello!

There is absolutely nothing under the sun that is not under God’s dominion. He owns it all. We are His children – created to love Him and help to build His Kingdom. We are here to gather up all the lost sheep and bring them home. I have come to realize that until I’m doing what I was made to do – I won’t be content. Even if I were to have all the money in the world – all the fame – all the stuff and favor and whatever else I think the world can give.. I would still have a hemorrhage. It’s not until I throw myself at the feet of Jesus and commit myself to the cause that I will ever find true joy. This. Writing to all of you about how wonderful my Jesus is. I was made for this. He told me that and I’m literally just a jerk if I don’t believe Him. Look at how Jesus instantly left the town when the defeat and fear and doubt entered the people of the town. They were gripped in satans lies and they missed out on their healing. They missed out on the miracles. They missed out on the Messiah! I’ll tell you something – there’s no devil in hell that will cause me to miss out. No way Jose! I’ll be right up at the front of the line saying, “um yes, it’s Megan Henderson, it should actually be the first name on the list thank you!”.

Faith and doubt can’t exist together. So – I’m choosing faith. How about you?